Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
