69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Randomize
