Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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