I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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