I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
