I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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