You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Pooping to opera.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
