this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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