Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My dick has a subreddit
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
