is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
