I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
