Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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