She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
