Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I did not marry a roomba.
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