a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
