She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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