Did you just see the Batmobile???
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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