She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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