People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
