I wannas sexs uuuuu
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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