"it" just moved
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
