Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
