he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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