I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So gin and wine won't be happening again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
