Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we're making bets on your personal life
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
