Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
