Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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