Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize