Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
