I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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