do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
