I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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