:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
