Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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