I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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