You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
