well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i used baking grease as lip gloss
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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