dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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