lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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