broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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