He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
