the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
