For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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