I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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