Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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