hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
