I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
