Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
