we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
