u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
