Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
