You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Can I color on your dick again?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
