Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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