last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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