don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
