Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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