And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
