I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
