yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
