So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
