You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
