I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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