you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
