The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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