In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
