I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
