thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
