Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
