When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
