i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize