Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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