i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
