Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
